A fat, lazy work-shy slob is set to lose his government-mandated benefits despite being completely broke.

The man, Donald Trump, has no money to his name and is set to lose all his government-mandated benefits in the next couple of months.

‘What am I supposed to do? I need the government’s support; they can’t just take all this away from me,’ Trump cried.

Mr Trump spends most of his days sitting on his ass, watching ‘Fox News’. He also wastes taxpayers’ money on overcooked steak dinners and golfing trips.

Republican supporter Pipp Frogger supports the decision to remove Trump’s benefits.

‘It’s about time people like Donald realised that you have to work if you want to make money and have a nice house. You can’t just sit around and wait for a government handout. That’s why this country’s in the mess it’s in. I’m glad we’re finally acting on this.’

Without the government handouts, Trump could be forced to turn to a life of crime.

‘I might end up in prison, and that’s no laughing matter,’ said Trump.