An elderly woman with a gold piano, diamond-encrusted hat and several large palaces to her name doesn’t want anyone to know that she’s rich.

Elizabeth Windsor, 94, might have a lot of money and assets, but she doesn’t want other people to know that.

‘One has found that when people sniff out one’s money, they begin to grow resentful. It becomes very ugly.

‘And one doesn’t want to be defined by one’s wealth,’ she told us while swilling out her mouth with a £50,000 bottle of champagne.

‘Don’t be fooled by the rocks that one’s got, I’m still Lizzy from the block.’

No-one is quite sure how much Ms Windsor is worth but it’s believed she could be easily separated from her wealth thanks to a device from France known as the guillotine.