Ukraine has surrendered less than twenty-four hours after Russia sent its biggest weapon into the capital.

After valiantly defending their nation for over six weeks, Ukraine had no option but to concede defeat after Russia sent in its biggest weapon.

“We’re brave but we’re not stupid. You need to know when to admit defeat, no matter how hard it is,” said Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky.

The Russian weapon, known internationally as Boris Johnson, was rolled into Kyiv in the utmost secrecy. Within minutes of its arrival, Ukraine surrendered rather than being forced to listen to the bumbling oaf.

Global leaders have unilaterally condemned Russia for its latest war crime.

“The use of a weapons-grade bozo is clearly against the rules of the Geneva convention and constitutes cruel and unusual punishment,” said French President Emmanuel Macron.

“Actually, my name is BoJo – not bozo. Easy mistake to make though, it happens all the time,” responded Johnson.