The Proclaimers have been told that they’ll be allowed to walk 500 miles but they can’t walk 500 more, according to the new lockdown guidelines.

The popular Scottish folk-rock band will have to cut their walking distance in half to meet with the new lockdown rules laid down by Boris Johnson.

‘To be clear, The Proclaimers CAN walk 500 miles if they need to but they CAN’T walk 500 more. That would violate the new lockdown rules, I think,’ said the visibly confused Prime Minister.

Craig and Charlie Reid say they will listen to the advice but also completely ignore it.

‘That’s the best thing to do to a bullshit muncher like Johnson,’ they said in unison.

Boris Johnson has yet to reveal what The Proclaimers are supposed to do about the 2000 mile distance they have to travel.