Police just glad the focus is on their brutality and not their tiny penises
Members of the police have come forward to reveal they’re just glad the focus is on their racism and brutality, instead of their tiny penises….
Police
U.S. to replace all police departments with true crime podcasts
America has announced plans to defund all police departments and replace them with multiple series of true crime podcasts. Experts believe that the decision will…
NYPD switches to lavender-scented tear gas to help protestors relax
The New York Police Department has switched from using regular tear gas to lavender-scented tear gas in an attempt to help the protestors relax. Large…
Ku Klux Klan denies any relationship or involvement with U.S. Police
The Ku Klux Klan has officially denied any form of relationship or involvement with the U.S. Police, calling the organisation ‘violent and racist’. While it…
Durham Police says Dominic Cummings broke lockdown rules, causing Boris Johnson to finally sack Durham Police
Durham Police announced that their investigation found that Dominic Cummings was guilty of committing a lockdown violation, causing Prime Minister Boris Johnson to finally sack…
Police visit Dominic Cummings’ home only to find he’s buggered off out again
Police paid a visit to Dominic Cummings’ home in Islington earlier today to question him over his trips to Durham, only to find he’d buggered…
Police should be able to have sex with suspects, says Cressida Dick
The Home Office has announced that undercover police officers can have sex with suspects if it makes them more plausible. This has raised some interesting…
Entirety of the remaining British police meets to discuss crime figures
All eleven of the remaining employed British police officers have met to discuss rising crime figures and how to tackle them. With crime figures rising…
Police see no link between Conservative government and any form of competency
The police have announced that they’ve found absolutely no link between the government and any display of competency in Britain. The findings came back after…
Jeremy Corbyn warns police cutbacks could leave Britain with only Sting for defence
Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has warned against further police cutbacks, claiming that Britain could be left with just Sting defending justice. The grim prediction was…