Street traffic trebles on day man is waiting for package
Street traffic has inexplicably trebled on the day a local man is waiting in his house for a package. Adam Ware, 32, is expecting the…
Local Man
24-year-old unwittingly retires from making any new friends
A 24-year-old has unwittingly retired from making any new friends, it’s emerged. John Membership, 24, today made his last ever new friend. He isn’t aware…
Husband’s entire self-worth on the line as wife asks him to open a jar
A local man is facing intense pressure after his wife asked him to open a tight jar for her. The moment that Alicia Green came…
Man fined £150 for not smoking in a smoking area
A local man was fined £150 after being caught not smoking in a smoking area. It’s believed to be the first fine of its kind….
“No refugees. We need to look after our own first,” says man who doesn’t want to do either
A local man who said Britain can’t afford to take on Ukrainian refugees and that Britain needs to take care of its own first doesn’t…
Local video gamer calls for peace while he works through his backlog
A local video gamer has called for peace between all nations, at least until he’s worked through the majority of his game backlog. With the…
Former expert on epidemiology now an expert on foreign policy
A man who claimed to be an expert on epidemiology now believes himself to be an expert on foreign policy, it’s emerged. Simon Molyneux, 39,…
Dad issues Storm Trump warning after eating two tins of baked beans
A local father has issued a weather warning to his family that they should expect powerful gusts of winds tonight after managing to polish off…
“Just one more pint,” says man, for the fifth time of the night
A man says he is staying out for just one more pint, although it’s the fifth time he’s said the exact same thing tonight. Kenny…
Man goes medium and has one more pint before heading home
A man has elected to neither go big nor go home, he will instead go medium and stay out for just one more pint. Duncan…