Twitter replaces Conservative MP Ben Bradley’s blue checkmark with a penis
Twitter has unverified Ben Bradley after the Conservative MP said that free meals for children were the same as handing over £20 to a crack…
Conservative Party
Northern deaths fall short of government’s quarterly target
Deaths in the North of England have fallen short of the quarterly target, according to the government’s latest report. Pestilence and famine have been used…
New test and trace system will tell Brits when they’ve come into contact with a Tory
Cyber workers have built on a new test and trace system that will warn Brits whenever they’ve come into contact with a Tory. The warning…
Conservative Party urged to retrain as a competent government
The British public has urged the Conservative Party to retrain into a competent, functioning government. The plea from the British public comes on the back…
‘I can excuse starving children, but I draw the line at wearing a mask,’ says Tory member
A (now former) Conservative Party member has claimed that she can excuse policies that have led to starving children, misery and suicide but she draws…
Conservative Party expected to lay-off 200 non-essential MPs by 2024
The Conservative Party is expected to lay-off as many as 200 of its non-essential MPs by 2024, if not sooner. Political experts believe that the…
HMRC confirms Conservative Party can claim ‘BBC News’ as a business expense
Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs has confirmed that the Conservative Party will be able to claim ‘BBC News’ as a business expense after an investigation…
Breweries to remain closed in case the Conservative Party try to organise a piss-up
Breweries across Britain are to remain closed in case the Conservative Party try to organise a piss-up, it’s emerged. Pub landlords have promised not to…
Conservative Party gains herd immunity against allegations of incompetence
The Conservative Party is said to have finally gained herd immunity against allegations of incompetence or corruption. So many Conservative MPs have now been accused…
Coronavirus self-isolates after coming into contact with a Conservative MP
The coronavirus has decided to self-isolate after it came into contact with a Conservative MP, it’s emerged. The bringer of doom managed to come into…