Johnson to tackle climate change by selling the NHS, putting an end to overpopulation
Prime Minister Boris Johnson has today promised to start tackling climate change in Britain by selling off the NHS in a move that should drastically…
Climate Change
Greta Thunberg branded a ‘hypocrite’ by opponents over 16 years of CO2 exhalation
Opponents of climate activist Greta Thunberg have criticised her hypocrisy after learning she has been exhaling carbon dioxide for over sixteen years. Carbon dioxide (CO2)…
Lewis Hamilton to help save the planet by driving a foot-powered F1 vehicle
Lewis Hamilton is set to become the first F1 driver to drive a foot-powered vehicle to help save the planet. The five-time F1 champion recently…
Oil companies remind dads that the more global warming the less heating needed in homes
Several of the leading global oil companies have come together to reminds dads that the hotter the Earth gets the less they’ll need to put…
Planet now hotter than environmentalist’s imaginary girlfriend
Earth is now considerably hotter than a young environmentalist’s imaginary girlfriend, which is causing him no end of embarrassment. Buzz Leaf, 23, has been forced…
Donald Trump DEMANDS climate scientists begin work on global air conditioning
President Donald Trump has demanded that climate scientists begin work on a global air conditioning system after it felt too hot outside for his liking….
NASA launches ‘I’m Safe’ feature for planets not ruined by humans
NASA has launched an ‘I’m Safe’ feature for planets in the solar system that haven’t yet been ruined by humans. Every planet in the local…
Brits urged to enjoy coolest summer before Earth turns into fireball
Brits have been urged to enjoy what will be the coolest summer until Earth inevitably turns into an apocalyptic fireball. While Brits are currently ‘enjoying’…
Global ice shortage could have catastrophic effect on gin & tonics, warns drunk scientist
An impending global shortage of ice could have a catastrophic effect on gin & tonics, a drunk scientist has warned today. With the Earth heating…
Britain to be powered entirely from hot air coming out of Westminster
Britain will soon be entirely powered by hot air coming out of Westminster, lowering carbon emissions to almost zero. The hot air coming out of…