‘Predator vs Santa’ to be released this Christmas
Christmas movie-goers are in for a treat this year after 20th Century Fox announced ‘Predator vs Santa’ would hit the cinemas in December. The movie…
Christmas
Christmas told it can fuck right off until December
Christmas has been told - in no uncertain terms - that it can fuck right off until December. Stores across Britain have already been sneaking…
Just one bath until Christmas, thinks teenage boy
A teenage boy is mentally celebrating after realising that he is only one bath away from Christmas Day. Daniel Ferry, 14, knows that Christmas might…
Britain faces the prospect of leftover turkey for the rest of eternity
Brits across the nation are waking up to the prospect that they may be forced to eat leftover turkey for the rest of eternity. While…
I just assume the rich kids deserve the best presents, admits Santa
Santa Claus has admitted that he long ago changed the ‘naughty or nice’ system of distributing presents and now just assumes that the rich children…
Son finally ‘old enough’ to watch greatest Christmas movie of all-time
A father has decided that his four-year-old son is finally old enough to enjoy the greatest Christmas movie of all-time – ‘Die Hard’. After years…
Dad preparing for smelliest Boxing Day dump ever
A father-of-two from Kent is hoping that his traditional Boxing Day dump will be his smelliest ever. Barry Heat performs a foul festive bowel movement…
Jesus warns followers not to try any of that ‘it’s a Christmas AND birthday present’ bullshit
Jesus Christ has warned followers that he expects both a Christmas AND birthday present from them this year. The son of God is said to…
Man’s regular jumper shit enough to pass for Christmas one
A local man is celebrating a considerable Christmas saving after being informed that his regular jumper looks shit enough to pass for a Christmas one….
Cat specifically asked for its name NOT to be included in Christmas cards
A cat is furious after discovering its human slaves included its name in the family Christmas cards, despite specifically asking not to be included. When…