Nature reclaims Burnley although it’s hard to tell the difference
With most residents now self-isolating, nature has almost entirely reclaimed Burnley, according to a picture taken earlier today. A Blackburn man driving past Burnley was…
Burnley
Burnley to be quarantined, not because of the coronavirus, it just needs isolating
Burnley is to be placed under quarantine, not because of the deadly coronavirus, but just because it needs isolating in general. The government has decided…
Burnley man loses two fingers in accident, leaving him with only twelve
A Burnley man has lost two of his fingers in an industrial accident, leaving him with only twelve digits. Nick Beardsley, 38, lost two of…
Foul-mouthed Burnley boy definitely kisses his mother with that mouth
A foul-mouthed boy from Burnley definitely does kiss his mother with that mouth, according to reports. Some might ask if Steven Wellard kisses his mother…
Snow coverage could cause some to believe Burnley looks ‘quite nice’, Brits warned
Britons have been warned not to fall into the trap of believing that Burnley looks ‘quite nice’ when covered in snow, lest they be engulfed…
Sale on Valentine’s Day cards for siblings causes mass riots in Burnley
A heavy discount on Valentine’s Day cards aimed at siblings has sparked mass riots across Burnley, according to reports. Thousands of angry Dingles have hit…
Signs of intelligent life discovered in Burnley
Scientists are brimming with excitement after witnessing what they believe to be the first signs of intelligent life in Burnley. The Lancashire town of Burnley…
Bear Grylls will attempt to survive a week in Burnley
Adventurer Bear Grylls has announced his most difficult challenge to date as he attempts to survive a full week in Burnley, Lancashire. The week-long test…
Southern man mistakingly believes he’s prepared for night out in Burnley
A southern man believes he is now completely ready for a night out round Burnley with one of his old University mates. Clem Levi (28)…
Refugees turn back after being offered housing in Burnley
A group of Syrian refugees have decided to head back home after being offered housing in the town of Burnley, Lancashire. The group – which…