Wrong dick resigns
A well-known Dick has resigned after a series of damaging scandals and controversies damaged their ability to be taken seriously. Sadly, that Dick was Dame…
Boris Johnson
Boris Johnson to hold emergency COBRA meeting
Prime Minister Boris Johnson will hold an emergency COBRA meeting tonight, ostensibly to discuss rising energy costs. The COBRA meeting will take place at 10…
Boris Johnson to answer all PMQs with “I know you are, but what am I?”
Sources within Boris Johnson’s inner circle have revealed that he plans to answer all future PMQs with “I know you are, but what am I?”…
Boris Johnson to throw a farewell party for all his former aides
Prime Minister Boris Johnson is planning to throw a farewell party for all his aides who’ve resigned over the last couple of days. The mass…
Boris Johnson’s pants believed to be a renewable source of heat
Scientists believe that Boris Johnson’s pants could be a new form of renewable energy that might help Britain overcome its energy crisis. The prime minister’s…
Boris Johnson submits two letters to MPs calling for him to quit
Boris Johnson has submitted two letters to Conservative MPs who have called for him to quit, the first letter being “F” and the second letter…
Boris Johnson is an utter [REDACTED], by Sue Gray
My investigation into allegations of multiple parties at 10 Downing Street has found that Boris Johnson is an utter [REDACTED]. In fact, not only is…
Boris Johnson probably just going to have a quiet one this weekend
Boris Johnson has claimed that he is probably just going to have a quiet one this weekend, although he followed that statement with a wink…
Boris denies reports he stuck his Johnson in the mouth of Colin the Caterpillar
Boris Johnson has denied reports that he stuck his cock in the mouth of the Colin the Caterpillar cake that was presented to him during…