With his life mainly revolving around long sits on the couch and binging Netflix, God’s second son has become a ‘total disappointment’ to Him.

Barry Christ (age unknown) is currently friendless, unemployed and spends the majority of his time on the couch, watching Netflix. Worst of all, he is living in Swindon.

God, who decided to have a second child after seeing the success that Jesus made out of himself, has come to regret the decision.

‘Jesus was such a good boy; helpful, motivated, abs you could grate cheese on, turned water into wine, died for humanity. He did all that and the best I can get Barry to do is resist the urge to masturbate every time he sees a bit of tit on Netflix.’

But Barry claims that the way he turned out isn’t his fault and that he’s only a product of his upbringing.

‘Dad never had any time for me when I was growing up, he was too busy running Heaven and playing in that stupid band of his. Any free time he got he spent with Jesus, the fucking golden boy.’

And Barry believes he might have been doomed from his very birth.

‘What fucking chance did I have with a name like Barry?’

Jesus, Barry’s half-brother, has reached out to him and offered to help get his life back on track.

‘He’s not a bad person. He just needs a little push in the right direction. I’ll get him in the gym a couple of times a week and maybe even open up a small business with him.’

While God might have given up on Barry, Jesus has defended his half-brother, claiming he does have some hidden talents.

‘His TV and movie trivia knowledge is second-to-none. Excellent guy to have on your pub quiz team,’ said Jesus.