1066: The Normans defeat King Harold II of England to take control of the country. The Normans rule England until 1154 when everyone agrees that Norman is a shit name.

1842: Women create the concept of periods to give themselves a reason to constantly complain.

1940: The birth of Cliff Richard. Some say he was merely copying Elvis Presley’s birth five years earlier.

1947: Chuck Yeager becomes the first person to fly faster than the speed of sound. He achieved this by flapping his arms as hard as he could to get away from his wife’s nagging.

1957: “Wake Up Little Susie” becomes the Everly Brothers first chart-topping hit. Their follow up “For Fuck’s Sake, I Told You To Get Up Thirty Minute Ago (We’re Going To Be Late Now)” was less successful.

1982: President Reagan declares a war on drugs. Drugs completely outthink and outmanoeuvre American leaders, leading to an easy victory for drugs.

2002: “How to Climb Stairs in Twelve Easy Steps” becomes the best-selling book of the year.