1605: Guy Fawkes becomes the last man to enter the Houses of Parliament with honest intentions.

1606: The Chinese economy booms as Britain purchases millions of fireworks to commemorate the Guy Fawkes incident one year earlier.

1789: The birth of William Bland, the inventor of British food.

1917: Vladimir Lenin, pissed up on vodka, calls for an October Revolution even though it was November at the time. A fake dating system is created to cover for his embarrassment.

1943: Vatican City is bombed by an Allied squadron for the first time during World War II. God apologises for not stopping the bombing and blames his failure on being distracted by his new slinky.

1996: Bill Clinton is re-elected President of United States and celebrates with a cigar or two…

2006: Saddam Hussein is sentenced to death for his role in ruining the popularity of the moustache.

2012: An Englishman becomes the first to be diagnosed with Luton intolerance, a condition that causes headaches, anxiety and fatigue whenever the sufferer is in Luton.