1820: Essex, the American whaling ship, is rammed by a whale, causing it to sink. The incident went on to inspire the playground game known as conkers.

1947: The future Queen Elizabeth II marries Philip Mountbatten after swiping far-right on Tinder.

1969: Brazilian footballing legend Pele scores his 1,000th goal. His goal tally goes on to be beaten by a competitive dad playing against his four-year-old son.

1975: “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” is released in American theatres. The documentary is a damning indictment of American mental healthcare.

1985: US President Ronald Reagan and Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev meet for the first time. They bond deeply over their shared love of Duran Duran.

1990: Pop duo Milli Vanilli are stripped of their Grammy Award after it was discovered they didn’t do their own singing. The award was later returned to them after people heard their actual singing.

1992: A massive fire erupts at Windsor Castle, destroying all of Prince Andrew’s hard drives. Megabytes of unspeakable filth were lost.

2003: An arrest warrant is issued for Michael Jackson after allegations of crimes against humanitee-hee.