Commissioner of Police of the Metropolis Cressida Dick has revealed that she has received a card that entitles her to free pizza for the rest of her life from a mystery benefactor.
The card was put in Dick’s pigeonhole this morning and will allow her to eat as much pizza as she wants from Pizza Express.
“We’re not allowed to accept gifts from the public in case they’re a bribe. In this case though, we have no idea who gave me this wonderful free pass to Pizza Express so it cannot possibly be perceived as a bribe.
“We tried to see who put the present in my slot but the footage was inconclusive and was then accidentally deleted.
“Long story short, I’ll be enjoying a 12 inch American tonight and then I’ll order myself a free pizza,” Dick told the press.
Rumours that the card was delivered on the same day as “bring your daughter to work day” are unsubstantiated at this time.
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