Melinda Gates will be given the entire ownership of Windows Vista in her divorce with Bill Gates, in accordance with a contract the couple signed in 2006.

The much-maligned operating system was released on November 8th 2006. Just weeks later Bill Gates signed a contract stating he would give total ownership of Windows Vista to Melinda in the event they were to divorce.

‘Bill was looking to offload that piece of junk as soon as it launched to such negative press. He was more than happy to sign it over to Melinda,’ one of his assistants told us.

The post-nuptial agreement was signed by both Bill and Melinda and is the only thing that Melinda is expected to receive after 27 years of marriage.

No-one yet knows what caused the hot celebrity power couple known as ‘Billinda’ to separate, although the stress of controlling most of the population with microchips can’t have helped.

To control so many people, Bill Gates has to spend 23 hours a day with his joystick in his hand, meaning he’s already well prepared for single life.