A lazy moron has completely screwed the pooch by forgetting to be born into a wealthy family, it’s emerged.

Richard Coffee, 35, can’t deny that he is both lazy and a moron. Sadly for Richard, he forgot to complete the trifecta by being born into a wealthy family.

“There are a lot of lazy morons like me out there who are doing really well for themselves. They were all born into a vast amount of wealth though – something I forgot to do.

“It’s a lot more difficult being a lazy moron when you’re poor. You’re just treated like some sort of bone-idle idiot, instead of a titan of industry,” Richard told us.

Mr Coffee informed us that he has recently converted to Buddhism in the hope he’ll get another crack at being born into a wealthy family in the next life.

“I presume we all get a turn at some point. That’s the only way it’d be fair,” he said.