1267 BC: Man invents running after spotting a lion.

18 AD: Birth of Joe Biden.

1537: Pope Paul III bans curries after a particularly spicy jalfrezi sets his holy ring on fire.

1846: The first-ever organised game of baseball begins. It is still ongoing and is currently in the fifth innings.

1941: Lou Gehrig dies of Lou Gehrig’s disease in the most coincidental death of all time.

1953: Elizabeth II is crowned queen of the United Kingdom. Few people turned up for the coronation though as most hadn’t seen the original Elizabeth.

1966: The United States employs its first-ever colour-blind police officer. He kills everyone he comes across, just to be on the safe side.

2018: Medusa claims responsibility for The Rock, Chris Rock, Kid Rock, Sharon Stone and Bob Sedimentary.