14081 BC: Sand is invented. It quickly gets everywhere.

751 AD: Birth of Carloman I, the first recorded superhero.

1838: The first episode of ‘Coronation Street’ is broadcast in Britain. Sadly, no one watches as the television has still yet to be invented at this point.

1919: Germany signs the Treaty of Versailles without reading the terms and conditions. They hold a massive protest two decades later.

1950: Dog that was legally dead for twenty minutes recovers and reveals that he was greeted by St Bernard guarding the Pearly Gates.

1981: Seven men are shot during a 100m race due to a sloppily made starting pistol. The sprint becomes a two-horse race.

1985: Michael Phelps is born to a male human and female dolphin. Questions are asked.

2014: Scottish band Franz Ferdinand is assassinated, leading to the start of World War III.

2019: Burnley celebrates the installation of its first indoor toilet.