100 BC: The birth of Roman Emperor and knife-holder Julius Caesar.

574 AD: Death of Pope John III.

939: Death of Pope Leo VII. The Vatican declares July 13th ‘a bad day for Popeing’.

1754: George Washington surrenders Fort Necessity to the French, providing that it wasn’t such a necessity after all. This leaves France in control of Ohio Valley. The French hand back control after spending roughly ten minutes in the area.

1923: The famous ‘Hollywood’ sign is installed in the hills above California. It originally read ‘Pervertland’ but that was considered a little on the nose.

1985: The Live Aid concert takes place and is widely criticised for raising awareness of Bob Geldof.

1993: Manchester told their chances of hosting the 2000 Olympics Games are ‘very, very high’. This was shortly before Olympic officials actually visited Manchester and subsequently awarded the event to Sydney, Australia.

2012: Britain’s sense of decency is declared missing, presumed dead.

2016: Prime Minister David Cameron resigns due to a rare health condition known as cock-in-pig disease.