Lord Ian Botham has been criticised in his first week as a trade ambassador over his tactic of repeatedly hitting other ambassadors with a cricket bat.

A slew of Australian ambassadors have complained about Botham’s behaviour since he was named the UK trade ambassador to Australia.

“He just tells us what he wants and then starts twatting us with his cricket bat,” said one severely bruised ambassador.

Botham has defended his actions, stating that he’s merely doing all he knows to secure the best trade deals for England.

“It was either that or pelting a hard leather ball at them. They should think themselves lucky,” Botham told us.

It appears unlikely that Botham will be punished for his actions as bullying is considered to be one of the key tactics for anyone in the Conservative Party.