A childless couple have been completely unable to hide how smug they are about it while asking about their friends’ children, it’s emerged.

Looking relaxed and well rested, Fraser and Andrea Hill couldn’t contain their happiness over their decision to not have children after asking how their friends children were.

With dark circles under their eyes and thousand yard stares, Riley and Michelle Coping could only rattle off half of the latest incidents, scares, health problems and the weirdest places they’ve found poop around the house before trailing off into some sort of trauma-induced waking coma.

“Still, it must be nice to have a house so full of life and love?” asked Andrea, trying to lift Michelle’s mood.

“Just yesterday one of them stuck their fingers down their throat and intentionally vomited on me. I don’t even remember which one,” responded Michelle.

The conversation ended because Fraser and Andrea had to go and do some activity or other that only childless couples who get a full night’s sleep can muster the energy to do.