That gobby shit from school that no one really liked is now incredibly successful in the field of marketing, it’s emerged.

Using his natural propensity for talking absolute bollocks, Kendrick Howe has developed a successful career in marketing – pulling in a six-figure salary despite a stunning lack of intelligence or empathy.

“Intelligence is incredibly overrated in the real world. It’s more about who you know and how much bullshit you can spew,” Kendrick told us.

Kendrick, who lives alone in a pristine penthouse and drives a BMW, credits his success to hard work.

“I’ve had to work very hard to get to where I am now. My dad made me start at the top of the middle and I had to work my way to the top,” he said.

Howe very much plans to attend the next school reunion.