Jeff Bezos returns from space in a hurry after aliens unionise
Jeff Bezos has returned from space in a hurry after all the aliens decided to unionise, it’s emerged. The Amazon founder was only in space…
Science & Tech
Study: In space, no one can hear you avoiding tax
No one can hear you avoid paying tax in space, according to the latest study by the Global Space Accountants (GSA). The study found that,…
‘So, we’re all on board with blowing this fucker up?’ asks Blue Origin scientist
A group of rocket scientists from Blue Origin are currently trying to confirm with one another that they’re all okay with blowing up Jeff Bezos….
Tesla self-destructs hours after driver criticised Elon Musk on Twitter
A Tesla vehicle has exploded just hours after the driver criticised Elon Musk, in an incident that police are treating as suspicious. Rupert Coffey, 46,…
Man looks TWENTY years younger after learning how to use Photoshop!
A local man looks at least twenty years younger after learning how to use Photoshop thanks to online tutorials on YouTube. Zidan Alfaro, 54, looks…
Driverless car already adapting to BMW drivers never indicating
Driverless cars are already beginning to adapt to the fact that BMW drivers never use their indicators, it’s emerged. Waymo, Google’s self-driving car, has displayed…
Bill Gates 2.0 will come without any compatibility issues, claims Bill Gates
The Bill Gates 2.0 update will come without any of the compatibility issues that hindered the performance of its predecessor, according to Bill Gates. Gates,…
Melinda Gates to get Windows Vista in the divorce
Melinda Gates will be given the entire ownership of Windows Vista in her divorce with Bill Gates, in accordance with a contract the couple signed…
Beyond Meat now so realistic it lies down when it’s about to rain
Beyond Meat claims that its newest plant-based meat substitute is so realistic that it will lie down when it senses impending rain. Just as cows…
Mark Zuckerberg ‘concerned over leak’ after public oil spill
Mark Zuckerberg has confessed that he’s deeply concerned over recent leaks after he started losing oil in public. Zuckerberg’s last several public appearances have all…