Trump pledges $200 million towards fighting Amazon warehouse fires
President Donald Trump has today pledged $200 million of government money towards fighting Amazon warehouse fires. The pledge came after Trump half-listened to a morning…
Politics
Donald Trump suggests fighting Amazon forest fire with flamethrowers
President Donald Trump today suggested that Brazil should fight the Amazon rainforest fire with flamethrowers, according to our sources. The Amazon fire, which has terrifying…
‘Boris Bounce’ more of a ‘Pfeffel Flop’, says ex-wife
We keep hearing in the media about a so-called ‘Boris Bounce’ but what does it really mean? We spoke to some of Prime Minister Johnson’s…
Sex worker accuses Boris Johnson of calling her Ireland and smashing through her backstop
A sex worker has accused Prime Minister Boris Johnson of paying her money to call her Ireland before he smashed through her backstop. The sex…
Nazi converts to Judaism to become a self-hating Jew
A Nazi has announced he’s converted to Judaism so that he can become a self-hating Jew, therefore making him immune to accusations of racism. Adolf…
Daily Mail and Telegraph in legal dispute over rights to the Boris Johnson character
The Daily Mail and The Telegraph are locked in a legal dispute over who legally owns the rights to the Boris Johnson character, it’s emerged….
‘Pro-immigrant’ Statue of Liberty told to go back to where she came from
The Statue of Liberty has been told to go back to where she came from by several top-ranking members of the Republican Party who disagree…
‘We survived WWII, we can survive no-deal Brexit,’ says man who’ll spend both shitting his nappy
Britain survived World War II, so it can survive a no-deal Brexit, according to a man who’s about to spend both shitting in a nappy….
President Donald Trump buys Poundland after mistaking it for Poland
President Donald Trump has today bought Poundland for $35 million to expand the United States, according to a press release from the White House. After…
Theresa May agrees to become caretaker PM to stop no-deal Brexit
Theresa May has agreed to take on the position of prime minister in a caretaker role in a bid to stop PM Boris Johnson pushing…