Boris Johnson threatens brother Jo with deselection from family Christmas party
Boris Johnson has sensationally threatened his brother Jo with deselection from the family Christmas party after Jo stood down from the Conservative Party. Jo Johnson…
Politics
Boris Johnson applies for political asylum in the EU
Prime Minister Boris Johnson is facing such ferocious animosity from all sides of the political spectrum that he’s been forced to apply for asylum seeker…
BREAKING: Boris Johnson’s resigned
Boris Johnson has stated that he is resigned to fulfilling the will of the people (the people stood behind and beside him, that is) by…
Dominic Cummings threatens to deselect Boris Johnson
A furious Dominic Cummings has threatened to deselect Prime Minister Boris Johnson if he’s unable to push through a no-deal Brexit. The bulbous head of…
Twitter fears President Trump has been hacked after lack of racist tweets
Twitter has launched an investigation into whether President Trump has had his account hacked after he failed to tweet anything remotely racist for 24 hours….
Racist moron with no job prospects offered role on BBC’s ‘Question Time’
A racist moron with no other job prospects has been advised to appear on BBC’s ‘Question Time’ to get his foot in the door. Harry…
Boris Johnson names new dog Distraction Tactic
PM Boris Johnson has had a rescue dog delivered to 10 Downing Street that he has already decided to name Distraction Tactic. The smelly, scruffy…
‘Sometimes you need to ignore parliamentary sovereignty to re-establish it,’ claims Brexiteer
Sometimes you need to completely ignore parliamentary sovereignty before you can re-establish it, according to one Brexiteer. Bob Cootie, 82, believes PM Boris Johnson made…
‘I’ll suspend you from a long bloody rope,’ Queen tells Johnson
Queen Elizabeth II has responded to Boris Johnson’s request to suspend parliament by telling him she’ll suspend him from a long rope if he continues…
BREAKING NEWS: Boris Johnson stands down
Boris Johnson today revealed that he suffers terrible itching when he wears natural fibres but that, when it comes to duvets and pillows, he finds…