Shock as apple falls right next to the tree
Britain has been left in shock after it discovered that a certain blond apple fell right next to a lecherous tree. The blond apple and…
Politics
“Sesame Street” introduces first Conservative MP character
The British version of “Sesame Street” is set to introduce Lord Liddell-Fiddler, the first Conservative MP character on the show. Lord Liddell-Fiddler will be introduced…
Jacob Rees-Mogg calls for Britain to return to the Julian calendar
Conservative MP Jacob Rees-Mogg has today called for Britain to return to the Julian calendar now that the nation is free from the EU. Britain…
Journalist under fire for having a second job as prime minister
A journalist by the name of Boris Johnson is under fire after it turned out he had a second job as prime minister of Great…
Ambulances to arrive within thirty minutes or your funeral’s free, promises Javid
Health Secretary Sajid Javid has set a target that ambulances will arrive within thirty minutes of being called or the patient’s funeral will be free….
Uber awarded NHS contract for ambulance drivers
The Conservative Party has awarded an NHS contract to Uber to provide them with ambulance drivers for the next decade, according to latest reports. Health…
Nation’s sluts to get government jobs sucking carbon out of the air
The government has announced that it will employ hundreds of the nation’s biggest sluts to help suck carbon out of the air to help reach…
Report: Boris Johnson attempted to sell state secrets before realising he didn’t know any
Boris Johnson attempted to sell state secrets to Russian donors before realising he didn’t know any, according to the prime minister himself. Always looking to…
Owen Paterson forced to resign as an MP over his OnlyFans account
Owen Paterson has been forced to resign his position as a Member of Parliament over his OnlyFans account, it’s emerged. While many believe that Paterson,…
Brain-eating zombies fail to find so much as a snack at the Houses of Parliament
A marauding hoard of brain-eating zombies that broke into the Houses of Parliament has been forced to move on after failing to find so much…