“Party boy” Boris asks nation to wave their hands in the air like they just don’t care
Boris Johnson has asked the nation to get out on their front doorsteps and wave their hands in the air like they just don’t care,…
Politics
Boris Johnson promises to host next party at Barnard Castle
Prime Minister Boris Johnson has promised the nation that he’ll host his next party at Barnard Castle rather than 10 Downing Street. With news breaking…
I tried snorting Coke in a pub toilet but all they had was Pepsi, confesses Matt Hancock
Matt Hancock has confessed that he once tried to snort Coke in a pub toilet but was foiled when all they had was Pepsi. The…
DON’T murder people, blood-soaked Boris tells Brits
A blood-soaked Boris Johnson has warned Brits not to murder each other, leading to suspicions about what the prime minister has been up to recently….
Conservative Party debuts new slogan to help boost flagging membership numbers
The Conservative Party has debuted a new slogan which they hope will help to boost flagging membership numbers. With membership and polling numbers dwindling, the…
Sources confirm illegal party in 10 Downing Street
Sources have confirmed to us that there has been at least one illegal party in 10 Downing Street during Covid lockdown. The illegal party is…
Sniffing arseholes to be made legal after Dilyn lobbies Boris Johnson
Sniffing arseholes is to be made legal in Britain after Dilyn - the prime minister’s dog - successfully lobbied Boris Johnson for the change. While…
Boris Johnson certain his “Bob the Builder” speech will be more warmly received
Boris Johnson has told aides that he is certain that his “Bob the Builder” inspired speech will be more warmly received than the one in…
Shock as apple falls right next to the tree
Britain has been left in shock after it discovered that a certain blond apple fell right next to a lecherous tree. The blond apple and…
“Sesame Street” introduces first Conservative MP character
The British version of “Sesame Street” is set to introduce Lord Liddell-Fiddler, the first Conservative MP character on the show. Lord Liddell-Fiddler will be introduced…