‘We regret testing our products on animals,’ admits chainsaw company
A chainsaw manufacturer has today apologised for testing its products on animals for the last ten years. Crimson Chainsaws are one of the top chainsaw…
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Grumpy Cat already asking to be let out of Heaven
Internet sensation Grumpy Cat has already been asking to be let out of Heaven after passing through the pearly gates just yesterday. Grumpy Cat, 7,…
Otherwise nice planet ruined by one terrible species
An otherwise nice planet has been completely ruined by one particularly disgusting species, it’s emerged. A once green and verdant planet is now struggling to…
Englishman arrested after house found to contain no kettle
An Englishman has been arrested after police stormed his house and found that it didn’t contain a kettle. The arrest of Lee Warrington, 37, came…
Prince Harry tells Meghan to speed it up so he can get back to watching the snooker
Prince Harry has told Duchess Meghan Markle to speed it up with the whole labour thing so that he can get back to watching the…
Man who turned up four hours late to interview gets the job as a builder
A man who turned up four hours late for an interview has been offered the job as a builder after showing true commitment to the…
God pretty sure he’s going to Hell for all this
God is pretty sure he’s going to Hell for everything that’s happened on Earth right now, according to the big cheese himself. Looking down at…
Mr Gunt looking forward to end of difficult first year as a high school teacher
Mr Gunt has revealed that he is really looking forward to the end of what has been a difficult first year as a high school…
Van driver spotted speeding, driving erratically and blasting lights
A van driver has been spotted speeding through town, driving erratically and blasting lights in what’s being described as a piece of incredibly dangerous driving….
Overly happy people to be provided with emotional abuse cats
Overly happy people will be given emotional abuse cats to bring them down to the level of everyone else, it’s emerged. People who are deemed…