Woman just three spiritual posts on social media away from total enlightenment
A local woman might be as few as three spiritual social media posts away from reaching enlightenment, according to our sources. Linda Street (31) has…
Lifestyle
Meet the lost men of the department store
You’ve seen them, hovering aimlessly near the exits of large department stores or circling the clothing aisles in the high street shops. But now these…
Man promoted to middle-class after putting his crisps in a bowl
Local man Alan Ripley is celebrating today after being promoted to middle-class status when he was spotted pouring a packet of crisps into a bowl….
Brits to revert to usual crappy diet after month long Christmas gastrofuck
Brits are all set to revert to their usual crappy diet, a marked improvement over the Christmas orgy of food they had been indulging in…
OH DEER! This little girl just assumed Father Christmas’ gender and her parents are FURIOUS!
Little Elsa Taylor has just made her parents’ naughty list after having the temerity to assume the gender of a Father Christmas in a mall….
Alcoholism now socially acceptable until 2017
Functional alcoholism will now be deemed as acceptable behaviour through to the beginning of 2017, society has agreed. With Christmas and New Year around the…
Miserable couple resigned to slogging it out through Christmas
A couple who have been miserable together for months are resigned to slogging it out through Christmas and into early 2017 before officially splitting up….
Woman bringing vodka and secret love of male colleague to office Christmas party
Local woman Karen Jones is dancing with danger tonight as she will be bringing both vodka and a secret love of a male colleague to…
Woman working at ‘Full Time Mummy’ really half-assing it
A woman who claims to work at ‘Full Time Mummy’ on Facebook is clearly half-assing her job, it has emerged. Sally Triffid (27) is a…
Mismatched couple bond over mutual love of awkward silences
A seemingly mismatched couple has managed to bond over their mutual love of awkward silences, it has emerged. Kyle Jennings (31) and Anne Redmond (29)…