Local woman far too considerate to buy petrol she actually needs
A local woman is far too considerate and thoughtful to go and buy petrol that she actually needs in light of the fuel crisis, it’s…
Lifestyle
Personal best! Woman performs ten squats before being ogled in gym
A local woman reveals that she’s beaten her personal best by performing ten squats at the gym before noticing she was being ogled. Siana Doherty,…
Emma Raducanu becomes first teenager to afford a house deposit in London
Emma Raducanu has become the first teenager to be able to put a deposit on a house in London, it’s emerged. The 18-year-old tennis star…
So-called feminist can’t even name every woman
A woman who claims to be a feminist has been found out after she was asked to name every woman and couldn’t name more than…
“I’m in a bad state right now,” says woman living in the state of Texas
A woman has revealed that she’s in a bad state right now; not of mind, just that she’s living in the state of Texas. “It’s…
“Don’t be such a sheep,” says man taking horse medicine
A man who’s taking horse medicine has implored his friends on social media to stop being sheep, it’s emerged. Ewan Herd, 45, believes that people…
God to accept returns on unwanted children
God will begin accepting returns on unwanted children for the first time ever after receiving significant backlash over his previous returns policy. All children will…
Woman filming gig can’t wait to never watch it
A woman filming a gig on her phone can’t wait to upload it to social media and then never watch it, it’s emerged. Sally Orr,…
Stupid baby chooses to be born in war-torn country
A newborn baby has had an absolute shocker after he decided to be born in a war-torn country, it’s emerged. Jameel Contreras, 0, had the…
It’s time to normalise human-on-dolphin sex, by Adolph Finn
In 2014, Margaret Howe Lovatt admitted that she’d had sex with a dolphin during a NASA-funded experiment in the 1960s. The astonishing revelation happened during…