Toddler sticks finger so deep up his nose he restores himself to factory settings
A toddler has stuck his finger so far up his nose that he has restored himself to factory settings, it’s emerged. The incident occurred yesterday…
Lifestyle
Lazy moron forgot to be born into wealthy family
A lazy moron has completely screwed the pooch by forgetting to be born into a wealthy family, it’s emerged. Richard Coffee, 35, can’t deny that…
Chaos as millions watch Pandora’s unboxing video
Earth has been plunged into chaos after millions watched Pandora stream an unboxing video on YouTube. Pandora May, known as Pandorable to her YouTube subscribers,…
Cooking instructions confidently thrown away sheepishly retrieved five minutes later
Food packaging which contained vital cooking instructions has been thrown away with confidence before being sheepishly retrieved, it’s emerged. Shani Bowers, 27, had all the…
Man’s head begins outsourcing hair growth to his arse
A man is reporting that his head is outsourcing hair growth to his arse as he boldly enters his forties. Millions of hair follicles atop…
You shot the sheriff? Five reasons you might as well shoot the deputy too
Did things get a little out of hand and now you find yourself with a smoking gun in your hand and a dead body in…
How to politely turn down a cup of tea
NEVER TURN DOWN A CUP OF TEA. WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU!?
Extroverted? Here’s how to shut the fuck up for once
Are you a fan of huge crowds and being the centre of attention? Does the thought of staying in and reading a book fill you…
Millennials prepare for terrifying evening of people knocking at their doors
Millennials are beginning to mentally prepare for a terrifying evening of having people they don’t know knocking at their doors. The annual event, known as…
Family blows annual apple budget on single trip to orchard
A family has managed to blow their annual apple budget during a single visit to a local orchard, it’s emerged. Archie and Lily Coombes took…