The news that Britain has distributed over 31 million COVID-19 vaccines was seen as a cause for celebration, until one man admitted that he’d received every single one of them.

Using a variety of disguises, silly voices and administrative errors, Bob Hawes has managed to receive 31 million COVID-19 vaccines.

‘I’ve had them all,’ he boasted. ‘My favourite is the Pfizer one, that seems like a better class of vaccine to me. Still, they’ve all done their part in making me completely immune to COVID-19.

‘There has been the odd side-effect but you’re not really supposed to take 31 million vaccines in such a short period of time, so I can’t complain.’

Bob’s admission that he has been hogging all the vaccines to himself comes as a severe blow to Britain.

‘We thought we were halfway to making sure that everyone had their first shot. This is the one thing that we didn’t want to happen,’ said Prime Minister Boris Johnson.

Bob Hawes won’t face punishment for his selfishness though. Being as it’s Britain, he might even get rewarded.