Thanks to our friends at Phisher Elite Network Infiltration Squad (aka PENIS), we have been able to obtain a file that contains every single Google search Boris Johnson has made so far in February 2022.

Due to issues of national security, we cannot publish three searches Johnson has made. Also, due to their obscene nature, there are thousands of searches we can’t publish on our website.

However, we have come up with a list of Boris Johnson’s top ten Google searches for February 2022 that we can share with you. These are terms that Boris most commonly searched for this month.

• Work events in my area.
• Why don’t people like me anymore?
• What does Brexit mean?
• Massive, and I mean MASSIVE, breasts.
• Can you catch an STD from yourself?
• Shirts that hide your wobbly man jugs.
• Affordable and discreet prostitutes in Westminster.
• Margaret Thatcher fake nudes.
• What does “dead man walking” mean?
• How to change your DNA for paternity tests.

Thanks again to Phisher Elite Network Infiltration Squad, we hope to have more from them in the future.