Prime Minister Boris Johnson has commemorated Martin Luther King Jr Day with his own version of MLK’s famous “I Have a Dream” speech.

In front of 10 Downing Street, aka the business end, Boris Johnson delivered his spellbinding speech which we have transcribed below, cutting out all waffle as appropriate.

One year ago, a great Briton made a mistake. Well, not so much a mistake as other people made a mistake and now he’s getting blamed for it. One year later, and the career of the prime minister is crippled by the manacle of the media and the chains of incompetence – the incompetence of others, that is.

I have come to this hallowed spot to remind Britain of the fierce urgency of NOW.

NOW is the time to remember how funny I am.

NOW is the time to remember that I’m trying my best.

NOW is the time to lift me from the quicksand of losing my position, to the solid bedrock of strong opinion polls.

NOW is time to forget about the reality of how many children I have.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day soon, everyone will have forgotten about all of the hypocrisy, all of the corruption, all of the lies.

This is my hope. This is the faith that I can run again in the North of England and win. With this faith, we can all bury our heads in the sand for a few more years.

The speech, understandably, grew gasped from the media in front of Johnson, who stayed to take questions. There was only one: “What do you think Martin Luther King Jr would have made of your speech?”

To which Boris Johnson replied, “Who?”