Boris Johnson has denied reports that he stuck his cock in the mouth of the Colin the Caterpillar cake that was presented to him during his lockdown birthday party.

After news broke that Boris Johnson was thrown a surprise birthday party during lockdown – complete with cake and songs – further rumours soon developed.

“There is no way that Boris didn’t stick his cock in the mouth of Colin the Caterpillar. I’d be more surprised if he didn’t,” tweeted @BJCummings.

But the prime minister was quick to take to the press to give his side of the story.

“I didn’t have a Colin the Caterpillar birthday cake. But if I did, I certainly didn’t stick my cock in its mouth. But if I did stick my cock in its mouth, it was only because it looked so inviting and I’d had a few to drink.

“Anyway, it’s a Tory tradition to stick your cock in the mouth of an animal; whether it’s alive, dead or in cake-form. Not that I did it,” said the known liar.

Colin the Caterpillar was unavailable for comment.