Balls are sweating at unprecedented levels, according to an influx of reports from men across Britain.

With temperatures soaring as high as 33 °C in some parts of Britain, testicles have never been hotter and sweatier.

Millions of men have reported symptoms of SBS – Sweaty Bollocks Syndrome – and the heat doesn’t look likely to let up until Friday.

But it’s not just the number of sweaty balls that is causing concern, it’s the amount of sweat the balls are producing.

“I feel like I need to wear a nappy just to soak up the sweat,” said Owen Briggs, a testicle owner from Wigan.

The NHS is recommending that men stay cool with a cold beer. This can either be drunk or used to dunk your junk in.