Dad with Covid induced fever just happy he can turn the heating down
A dad with a fever caused by Covid-19 has revealed that he’s just happy to have an excuse to turn the heating down. Simon Ferry,…
Articles by David Marrs
Friends of Ghislaine Maxwell send care package to her prison cell
Close friends of Ghislaine Maxwell have clubbed together to send her a care package as she begins her long stay in prison. The care package…
Prince Andrew hoping to get off on a technicality rather than a minor this time
Prince Andrew’s legal team have revealed that he is hoping to get off on a technicality, rather than his usual technique of getting off on…
Man to give back to his local community by leaving it
A man is about to give back to his local community by leaving it once and for all, it’s emerged. Richard Skin, 35, is set…
Report: No one has a clue what day it is
Absolutely no one has a fucking clue what day it is after the Christmas/New Year period has once again successfully clouded the minds of everyone….
Queen to begin her Christmas Day speech with a minute’s flatulence
Queen Elizabeth II will begin her Christmas Day speech with a minute’s flatulence in way of a review of the past year, according to our…
The “Christmas spirit” is booze
People should be drinking as many as eight glasses of booze a day, according to experts in the field of Christmas. Eight daily glasses of…
Jesus begins getting the drinks in for his upcoming birthday
Jesus Christ has begun the process of getting the drinks in for his upcoming birthday. Eyewitnesses reported seeing Jesus carrying multiple packs of water back…
SpaceX rocket crashes into Santa Claus
SpaceX’s Falcon 9 rocket has crashed into Santa Claus, leaving Christmas in jeopardy. The rocket launched during the early hours of Tuesday in the United…
Forget “Die Hard”, “Rocky IV” is the ultimate Christmas movie
Once again it’s that time of year when the mundane debate about whether or not “Die Hard” is a Christmas movie. I say, who cares?…