Novak Djokovic dumped out of Australian Open after terrible shot selection
Novak Djokovic has been dumped out of the Australian Open in the first round after displaying some of the worst shot selection of his career….
Articles by David Marrs
Australian Border Force reveals new employees
The Australian Border Force has revealed that it’s signed tennis greats Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal to protect the nation from unwanted intruders. Federer and…
Tony Blair’s eligibility for knighthood called into question after no history of sexual misconduct is found
Tony Blair’s eligibility for a knighthood has been called into question after a background check found that he has no history of sexual misconduct. Certain…
January 5th – On This Day in History
1688: Man invents the jacuzzi after eating a bean stew and taking a bath. 1883: Samuel Morse solves his first murder. 1914: Henry Ford shocks…
Ghislaine Maxwell’s ghostwritten autobiography “Why I Had to Kill Myself” released next month
Ghislaine Maxwell’s ghostwritten autobiography “Why I Had to Kill Myself” will be released next month to coincide with her suspicious suicide, the publisher has revealed….
White House officials uncertain whether President Biden is dead or just napping
There is panic in the White House today after government officials revealed that they’re uncertain if President Biden is napping at his desk or actually…
Man incapable of sweating still fully capable of shitting himself
A man who is incapable of sweating has discovered that he is still fully capable of shitting himself, according to reports. The man, who wishes…
People should work after getting bitten by a zombie until they begin to crave brains
Governments are advising everyone who has been bitten by a zombie to continue going into work until they begin to feel the unmistakable cravings for…
Prince Andrew suddenly taking a massive interest in the Lord Lucan case
Prince Andrew has suddenly taken a massive interest in Lord Lucan’s disappearance, which took place in 1974 under suspicious circumstances. Lord Lucan, who was accused…
Tesla recalls 500,000 cars after trialling Richard Hammond-inspired AI
Tesla has recalled 500,000 cars that were deemed to be at risk of crashing after they trialled a new self-driving AI that was inspired by…