4000 BC: The world mourns after poetry is invented.

1497 AD: A disappointed John Cabot returns to England from the Labrador coast with news that there’s not a single dog in the sea.

1888: William Kind becomes the first man to be executed by acoustic chair. The ordeal lasts several days and officials decide that an electric chair would be much more humane.

1928: The birth of Andy Warhol, inventor of Campbell’s soup.

1961: “The Big Book of Glue” becomes the first book to be described as “unputdownable”.

1973: Stevie Wonder is involved in a serious automobile accident after an ill-advised attempt to drive himself down to the shops.

1989: Saddam Hussein wins the coveted Moustache of the Year Award, fending off stiff competition from Freddie Mercury and Tom Selleck.

1994: Common sense put on the endangered senses list. It goes on to die out within five years.

1999: Pizza Hut launches its controversial offal-stuffed crust pizza.