Alcoholism is no longer something to be avoided, it’s something to seriously consider for your mental health, according to NHS doctors and nurses.

While heavy drinking might put an incredible toll on your body, it might be the only way to save your mind over the next five years.

‘Usually, we’d never recommend someone get completely pissed every night. These aren’t normal times though. Regular consumption of alcohol might be the only way for people to get through the next five years – and that includes us NHS staff,’ one nurse told us.

GP’s could even begin to actively prescribe alcohol and cannabis to patients who are struggling with Britain’s political environment.

As one GP said: ‘Fuck it, why not? What can I get you? Will a litre of vodka and half an ounce do for now?’